Saturday, November 2, 2013

MENTOR OR MEDDLER

I’ve made some wise decisions in my adult life and I’ve made some not so wise ones.  Sometimes, no matter how hard you try or how much you plan, your decision turns out to be a bad one.  And sometimes, no matter how much you think it is not going to be a good decision, it turns out to be a blessing in disguise. 

One of my decisions that became a great blessing in my life involved becoming a mentor to a local lady in a nursing home who had no family or friends who regularly visited.    I decided to try and give back some love and care to an elderly person who was lonely like my Mom had been when she was in a nursing home.  I remember how she had looked forward to the visits of the local people who stopped in once in a while. 

I came to love Mrs. P, who was grouchy and never smiled, but peeped through one eye when she thought I wasn’t watching to see if I was still there.   She was so lonely and always called for me when she had to go to the hospital.  She did have some family, but they didn’t live close by so she never had many visits unless I went to see her.  Sometimes I’d take her for a ride or sometimes take her an ice cream but usually took her a treat of some kind.  She didn’t say so, but I think she looked forward to it even if it wasn’t anything but a peppermint candy. I visited her for years but when I became ill myself, I wasn’t able to visit regularly and felt really bad.  I wondered what she must have felt about me not being there since she couldn’t, or wouldn’t, communicate with anyone. 

When I finally resumed visiting her, she was very ill and passed away just before her 100th birthday.  I went to her room to visit her and it was empty.  No one had called me to tell me.  I felt like I had been hit in the stomach.  As it turned out, I was able to go to her funeral that very day.  I received letters from the extended family thanking me and letting me know how much she loved me.   What a blessing she was to my life.

Becoming involved in local government was not in my best interests.  Apparently my desire to become an informed citizen immediately labeled me as a “meddler” as was evidenced by a letter saying I was “harassing” the clerk.  Not good.  Clearly, I was in uncharted waters asking for information that nobody had ever asked for or received before.  How could I help plan to make things better without knowing what went wrong in the past?  Facts, figures, records, are the only things you have to go on.     

It isn’t my nature to give up or to turn my head if I see something wrong that I could make right.  I don’t believe that laws are written to apply to specific people unless it is spelled out that way and for good reason.  I believe tax payers have a right to say how their money should be spent and that transparency is essential, and a right.  Some might not agree with me and what a pity that friendships become shattered over differences of philosophy.  It shouldn’t be this way.  Maybe I am a “meddler” if these things are wrong.  


I’m going to count this experience as a blessing too.  I learned so much during my year and a half as a council person.  Serving in any form of government is an honor not to be taken lightly!  And no one, absolutely no one,  should make it a career!

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