We decided that today would be the day we would try to work our DVD player thingy and watch a movie. The DVD thingy is on the shelf under the television. Teresa said all we have to do is put the disc in the "cup holder" and press play. Sollie's standing by while I finagle with the buttons. We can do this!
Any idea how hard it is to read little words under little tiny buttons when you wear trifocals? I couldn't squat and lower my head at the right angle to read any of the words and symbols. This means I'm gonna have to get down on the floor. Oh Lawd!
Now getting down on anything isn't easy at my age, but somehow I managed to get myself down and get as close as I can to the thingy. Stop. Play. Arrows. Hummm. I finally found the Power button on top. Now, find the cup holder. I press a button and magically it opens and I put in the disc. Yep, I'm on a roll now. Press play. Grab your water bottle, get in your chair, here comes our movie!
I wallow around like a seal in labor trying to get up, but no movie is on the screen. Wait! Give me the clicker. Which clicker? Ummm, maybe the one for the cable. Nope. Well, where is the DVD clicker? Here it is? Nope. Now, it's time to call 1-800-TERESA.
Teresa says, press something. I press. Nothing. Press something else. Nothing. Where is the other clicker? Which clicker? The one that says VIZIO on it! Wait a minute. Here is the clicker that I used to use before we had cable, but it doesn't say VIZIO on it! WHERE IS THAT ONE? I don't know. Well, I told you to write it down says my technician daughter when I hooked it up says my sweet daughter who is just waking up from a nap!
I have three clickers scattered around in front of me and I can't find the one with the button she's telling me to click and I haven't even started on the thingy yet! Finally, we walk through numerous scenarios and press buttons, stand on our heads, turn around three times, stick out our tongues, and something finally appears on the screen that isn't FOX News. We be smokin' now!
I said STOP! This is the right place! Now, the movie has been running for a while while we're figuring out the thingy's so Teresa says - now you got to press so and so and get back to the beginning of the movie. WHAT?
Huffing and puffing and sweating, we finally got our movie. Too tired to make popcorn. I'm not real sure we're going to be watching any more movies any time soon. I forgot to write all that down when we finally got the right button, plus I needed major pain meds for the wallowing I did on the brick floor, and I'd rather take a beating than call 1-800-Teresa! And I hope Sol managed to find the right button on his tv to get back to whatever it is he wants to watch 'cause I'm gone!
