When to make that call.......

Last week we lost our dearly beloved pet poodle, Peaches.  She was the light of our lives. We got her when she was only three months old.  She was thirteen years old last March.

How do you know when it’s time to euthanize your beloved pet?  How can you be sure that tomorrow she or he won’t be right back to the normal routine?   Oh,  how I agonized over that question.    Each situation is bound to be different and everyone has their own set of circumstances to guide them.  But for me, I asked myself over and over, was Peaches living the life she would want to live.

 I looked at how she could no longer run and jump up on the sofa or chair because of the arthritis in her back legs.  She struggled to get up from lying down.  I looked at how she could jump down from the bed and her little legs would give away and she would crumble in pain and struggle to get up off the floor.  Then she couldn’t get back up on the bed,  and would lie silently at the foot of our bed until we picked her up.  I looked at how when she went potty on her little pads, her little back legs couldn’t support her any longer and she would wet herself and she didn’t like that.   She couldn’t chase her ball anymore.  She couldn’t jump up for her treats.  She coughed a lot.  She started having seizures when she was six years old.  She had at least one seizure a month and sometimes more.  She was on three different medications.  Her liver enzymes were extraordinarily high.  Her stomach was bloated and her day consisted of eating and sleeping.  Nothing more.  Not very much fun for our beautiful Peaches who always was running to get her squeaky ball to play, especially when we walked in the door. 

And yet, was it time?  Should we make that call?  She looked up at us with such loving eyes.  She held on to us with her little legs just like she always did….Will she know?   Does she suspect something….?  What to do…..?  After much prayer and consideration, I came to the conclusion that just because she was breathing, she wasn’t living and if I were in her shoes, I would want to be held in the arms of someone who loved me, and gently and painlessly sent on my way to heaven.    And that is what I did and how it was. 

The loss of a pet is not unlike losing a family member.  You grieve deeply.   Grief for some is obvious.  There are tears and visible behavior which leaves no doubt about ones feelings of sorrow.  And then there is hidden grief.  Grief that is so intense and private that it is lies deep inside your being and can cause anguish and misery unlike anything anyone on the outside could possible know.   Sometimes, people feel both kinds of grief.  Sometimes they feel one or the other.  How they express grief doesn’t matter.  Grief is unhappiness in your soul. It hurts.

 Rest in peace my sweet little Peaches.  You gave us so much unconditional  love and joy and ple

asure!  I loved you so much.