85 - SAY IT AIN'T SO!

Good grief!  How did I get here?……Turning 85 years old isn’t for sissies!   I’m a “wanna be” 50-year-old.  That’s right – 50-year-old!  I have no desire to go through all that hassle of hard knocks in life again.  Everybody goes through that; I don’t care what they say.  It’s a rite of passage for most every young adult.  You know the story.  We think we know everything, but we don’t have a clue.  Well, I’d just like to skip that part and be 50 years old and start from there again.    

It was somewhere around this age that I figured out I could actually do something other than cook, wash clothes, and raise a family and that it was alright to do it.  Prior to that, my entire married life had been wrapped up in the daily needs of my family, first and foremost.   Most of those years included working a job outside the home as well, so having time or energy for hobbies wasn’t an option.  The housework, going to work, ironing, polishing shoes, washing shoestrings, helping with homework, and all over again was my daily routine.   Then came the empty nest.   Who was I?

All of a sudden, I felt like a whole new world had opened up to me!  I wanted to learn how to do things that maybe I’d only thought about, or something I’d always wanted to do, but never had time.  I wanted to read more.  I wanted to volunteer and visit the elderly.  I had a real thirst for just learning, for the sheer knowledge of it.  Gardening, sewing, baking, books, art, choral music, travel, civic clubs and lots of things that I had not had an opportunity to be exposed to or participate in.  Even computers!  And the internet!  And then Google!  It was a miracle!  Life was wonderful!

Now I don’t want you to think that all this knowledge that I suddenly craved turned me into a walking encyclopedia or Queen of all things good.  Far from it!  I’m still dumb as a box of rocks and my attention span is about that of a five-year-old.  This is compounded by the fact that I was diagnosed with epilepsy a few years ago and will have to take anti-seizure medication for the rest of my life.  My claim to fame is that this medication is the whole reason I sometimes come across as somewhat goofy and therefore, it explains my occasional goofiness. But it hasn’t totally fried my brain and I still have the love for a good book, good music, beautiful flowers, antiques, especially textiles and fine needlework and exquisite silver.  I’m not an expert at anything and a master of nothing.  But I’ve managed to try just about everything on my bucket list and plan to keep trying.   

Age isn’t kind to most of us in many respects.  The miseries caused by natural processes now prohibit many of my exciting and fulfilling activities.  But I still love to learn.  I still find myself Googling words and phrases or looking for things that I hear about that I want to know more about.  My body doesn’t keep up with my mind as good as it used to.  And my mind doesn’t keep up with Google and the computer.  I don’t cook much, and my back doesn’t like to pull weeds and my fingers hurt when I sew.  My eyes don’t see as good to read, but I’m still doing my best to do all that I can.  What better way to laugh than to communicate and share funny stories with those you love!  Besides, I need to keep my smile muscles from atrophying. 

That, my friends, is what makes life worth living.  Doing something that gives you joy and creates in your mind and soul a peace and fulfillment that gives instant gratification.  Once that is gone, you lose a part of your life that is difficult to replace.  Sometimes, it is irreplaceable.    I’ve still got some living to do.  You only get to go around once.