There is more than enough news
recently about sexual harassment in the workplace. Sexual harassment is when you are expected
to endure or perform some type of sexual behavior to gain a higher position,
more money, or simply to continue an association with some jerk who thinks he
can get away with it. I find it
difficult to imagine tolerating harassment as an adult who can make a choice to
walk away from the situation. Anything a person can’t walk away from
such as sexual, psychological or physical abuse
is another whole subject.
It simply isn’t ok for anyone to
use their position of “importance” to entice someone to be part of behavior
that they are not comfortable with. There are also instances where walking away
might remove you from the immediate situation, but can place you in an uncomfortable
situation. You could ruin the reputation and cause
extreme heartache for an unsuspecting family or friend or both. Public figures are at a great risk for this
very reason. Remember the “swinger” web
site scandal? Ouch.
In small towns, everyone knows
everyone. You sit next to them in
church. You are class with them. You are in class with their children. You may babysit for them. You might sing in the church choir or go to
parties with them and you wave at them on the street passing by. You’ve known these people all your life and
you trust them because they are like family.
When I was in high school, I took
a class called Vocational Office Training.
Part of the class included working in a business at a nominal wage for a
short time to gain some experience in a work place setting. I was at my desk typing one day and my
employer, touched me inappropriately. He
said nothing. I said nothing. I immediately covered my typewriter, got my
school books and purse, and left to walk home.
He followed me in his car almost all the way home calling to me to let
him give me a ride. All I could think of
was that if I told my folks, my Dad would be out for a showdown and it wouldn’t
be pretty. Embarrassment would surely
follow as this was a member of my church with a fine family. I couldn’t think straight. I just kept walking. The next day, I knew I had to let my teacher
know, since she would have to make the arrangements for another place for me to
work because I had no intention of going back to that office. I told her in confidence and asked her to
never place another student in that business again and to please not betray my
confidence. I never told my Daddy. I didn’t tell my Mother until the man had
passed away and I had grown children of my own.
I don’t tell this story to accuse
someone who waits years and years before coming forward with their accusations. I make no excuses for allowing a grown man
with children get away with what he did to me. In my opinion at the time, the
consequences would have hurt too many people who were innocent and, thankfully
I wasn’t hurt physically. I tell this simply to say that sometimes we
don’t know the right thing to do or say.
We stay silent because it’s the least complicated way to handle a
situation. Sexually abused young
children may simply not want to cause a fight at home or experience
punishment. They may have been abused by
the most trusted member of their family and they are so confused about love
that they allow themselves to believe it is ok and that’s a way of showing love
to them. Some of them live the rest of
their lives trying to sort out the wrongness of it all, sometimes blaming
themselves and feeling they deserved to be treated that way. Sexual, physical and psychological abuse is
more prevalent than most people know.
Currently, it seems that the more
prominent, more powerful, more visible people who should have our respect
because of their accomplishments and positions, have dirtied not only their own
families and friends who supported them, but our nation. When
our President can face the nation, and lie, be proven guilty, and even
impeached but remain in the highest position in the land as if it were a minor
school yard offense, surely, we must know there’s trouble on the horizon. Our
society has become so complacent that we just listen intently to the news and
then wait gleefully for the next scandal to break. It’s just a matter of time.
